2017. What a year. I cannot describe this year in one word because it was a serious rollercoaster ride. If you have followed me on Instagram, you kind of know about my self healing journey. This is what I wrote: “Whatever you are looking for, is looking for you too”. If you followed me around this year, you know that I went on a little self healing journey. I was struggling with my mental health and I had no idea how important it was to take care of my inner self. I went to Bali by myself to figure it out (I know, a cliché) but it didn’t work, I could not understand why I felt so empty inside, especially why I didn’t feel like myself in Bali. I was surrounded by beauty but I felt so numb. I decided to go to a doctor and that was one of the hardest things I had to this year, I did not want to go but I did it anyway, for my own health because I could not to this by myself. I needed help. I was diagosed with ptsd and I got proper therapy for a couple of months. It wasn’t fun but it surely helped me a lot to deal with trauma (I ended emdr therapy this month because I feel a lot better now and I don’t feel like I need it anytime soon). Anyway, I feel like this year was a rollercoaster but everything worked out in the end. I found love, I found a place I can call my home now (Rotterdam) and I am surrounded by some amazing souls that I am super thankfull for. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t take the step to see a doctor back in april. When it comes to health, you can’t wait. You have to do what is right for yourself and for your loved ones.”
I am so grateful for everyone that supported me and was there for me through the year. I have so much creative energy for 2018, because I was more focussed on my well being than on being a 100% productive in 2017, best decision I ever made. Sometimes we really have to say no and focus on our health and relationships with ourself and others. There’s more important things in life than always being busy, busy, busy and posting it on social media. Balance is an important word and I am still looking to find that balance, and that’s okay.
The things I look forward to in 2018 are:
1. Shaping New Moon Magazine into the right form. I think this platform can grow into something really beautiful and we’ve been brainstorming for some time now. Can’t wait to put that into action and let all of you know what we have planned.
2. Updating more on my blog. I quit my blog last year and I have never regretted it. But for the last few weeks I have been wanting to write and share my stories here. So that’s what I am going to do.
3. Continue to work on my mental and physical health. I am surrounded by so many great people that motivate me to be my best self and I couldn’t wish for any more motivation for 2018. 2017 was all about taking things slow, really learn how to say no and giving myself a break when I needed it the most. Next year I will use this energy I gained to become a stronger and healthier version of myself.
What are your goals for 2018? Happy new year XOXO.